Make BE CURIOUS Your Mantra is the 7th relationship tip in this 10 Quick Tips to Warm Up Your Relationship series.
In addition to speaking your truth, the other vital element for good communication and continued growth is to listen up from a place of genuine curiosity.
So today, I encourage you to make Be Curious your mantra.
Remind yourself to be curious about your own thoughts and feelings and to be equally curious about your partner: her thoughts, feelings, and desires.
Adopting a practice of genuine curiosity will help you be a great listener and therefore, an engaged partner.
When your partner has something important to share with you, your job is to be a good listener. Curiosity is the secret ingredient that will ensure your communication success.
And let me tell you…curiosity is the antidote to those typical (yet harmful) communication coping mechanisms that never work.
Instead of getting defensive or silently plotting your come-back, lean into curiosity. Really!
Getting curious will help you stay calm.
Good questions that come from genuine curiosity will help your partner feel seen and valued – and they may actually help her understand herself better, too.
Curiosity will help you reach the ultimate goal of empathy. Without curiosity, you won’t be able to walk a mile in your partner’s shoes.
Try curiosity out the next time you and your partner start to have a challenging conversation.
If you’re experiencing extreme communication problems or other issues in your relationship, I want to invite you to consider joining our 6-week online group coaching program for lesbian couples: Transforming Lesbian Couples (TLC).
In that program, you’ll learn how to reconnect, create a secure relationship, and communicate like pros!
Here’s to warming up your relationship by listening up!
Here’s a list of our past Tips to Warm Up Your Relationship