Lynda Spann, PhD, LMFT
Founder of the Lesbian Couples Institute
WHY DID I CHOOSE TO OPEN A DENVER COUNSELING PRACTICE AND A WORLDWIDE RELATIONSHIP COACHING PROGRAM AS AN OPENLY LESBIAN THERAPIST?
Lesbian Couples Have Unique Struggles
Almost all couples have relationship struggles at one time or another. But when you’re a lesbian, bi, or queer woman in a relationship with another woman, it can feel extra lonely when your relationship isn’t going well. Immense loneliness. Like walking through the Sahara desert. Sola. Who can you talk to (and get solid help from) when you and your partner are arguing all the time? Or when you’re so disconnected that you aren’t spooning anymore before you fall asleep? Or when you’re on the brink of a break up because even though you love each other, you’re not in love anymore?
Not usually family. It can be way awkward and mighty risky to talk to your parents or siblings. And if you do talk to them, at the end of the conversation you’ll probably feel completely misunderstood. Plus there are those giant odds that they’ll never be happy with your partner again. And that just creates a whole new can of worms.
What about talking to friends? If you’re older than 19, I bet you’ve learned that talking to your friends about your relationship problems can go South, fast! You know how your lesbian and gay circle of friends is so tight-knit? Well…there’s a good side to that and a bad side. If you share too much about the things going wrong in your relationship, you’ll end up with a circle of drama, instead of a circle of friends. (Don’t ever say I didn’t warn you!)
You can speak your truth both inside and outside your relationship and still be safe and secure. You can become the happiest couple you know.”
A Lesbian Therapist might be just what your relationship needs
Maybe you and your partner tried working with a marriage therapist. One that proudly advertises that they work with all people. Including heterosexual and LGBTQ couples.
You can tell by their website and their profile on psychologytoday.com that they are as straight as an arrow. They say they’re open-minded and accepting of all people. And they may be.
But that doesn’t mean they really “get” you. It can be exasperating to trust someone with your time, money, and relationship only to find that things don’t change.
If you’re just hanging onto your relationship by a thin strand of hope, I want you to know that I created the Lesbian Couples Institute for you.
For more than two decades, I had a very successful marriage therapy practice where the vast majority of the couples I worked with (about 95%) were straight.
Don’t get me wrong. I really enjoyed that work and I feel great about helping to save hundreds of marriages.
I began to feel a bit out of alignment. I yearned for permission to be open, out, and completely myself. And I started to have a big, strong, passionate desire to help my peeps. To help my community (of women who love women) to have thriving intimate relationships.
Permission granted! By me, of course.
In early 2018 my partner, Lisa, and I decided move to Denver so that I could open a counseling and coaching center for lesbian couples. Within a few months of making that decision, the Lesbian Couples Institute (LCI) was born. I’m a very proud mama!
You don’t have to feel so alone. And uncertain about the future of your relationship any longer.
I (and all the counselors at LCI) have walked in your shoes. I don’t just think I understand you and your relationship because I read a book, or took a seminar on working with LGBTQ couples, or watched one Indy Lesbian flick. No.
I am “family.” I understand your life because I’ve lived it.
Don’t put yourself through the agony of going to a couples counselor that doesn’t get the U-haul joke, or that you’d be mortified to talk to about your sex life, or that thinks one of you is the “guy” in the relationship.
“You’re our last hope” is something I frequently hear from new lesbian couples. No matter whether you’re struggling with infidelity, the chill of disconnection, terrible communication, or constant conflict, I can help.
Life can be profoundly rich when you’re in a good relationship. I want to help you have that. I want to help you feel secure and happy, like “I found my person!”
My hope is that we rediscover you already have her right in front of you.
I’m ready to help. Just give me a call.
If you’ve got a thread of hope tugging at your heart, and you’re willing to be courageous enough to give your relationship one last shot, call me. Freedom and fun are just a phone call away. Call me now at (303) 222-7134.