Are you tempted to ignore Valentine’s day this year because it smacks of tired, heterosexist customs? Or because of the cheesy V-day traditions meant to line the pockets of teddy-bear makers, high-priced restaurants, and chocolatiers? 

Well, hang on one hot second. Don’t just write-off this holiday as one to be ignored.

Why?

Because valentine’s day is actually a platinum opportunity for you to be completely unapologetic in how you show the woman you love (and anyone else watching) how special she is to you. 

(And by the way, if you’re in the camp that thinks of valentine’s day as Singles Awareness Day, then gather up some of your other single female friends and celebrate your friendship by doing something new and fun together.)

I want you to get your creativity engine revved up, and start dreaming about how you can create the best lesbian valentine’s date night, ever. 

You can design a memorable, epic date. One where both you and your babe will remember exactly why you fell in love, and rekindle the spark all over again. Even if you’ve been feeling disconnected from your partner.

How do you create the best lesbian valentine’s date night, ever?

Mostly by giving yourself license to think outside of the date box. You can become a date night planner extraordinaire! And this year’s valentine’s date night can go down in history as the greatest one on record.

Don’t worry. You won’t have to do a major google search to find dozens of articles about valentine’s date ideas to comb through. I’ve got you covered right here:

Decide if you want a private or public date

A couple of things to consider… Is your budget on the tight side, or do you have some extra cash to play with? If you’re living lean, then a date at home may be the way to go. But if you’ve got the extra funds to spend, consider painting the town red.

And the other decision to think about is whether you want to use this day as a chance to advocate for gender equality and same-sex relationships by going out on the busiest straight-couples date-night of the year. 

By choosing to go out on valentine’s day, you can proclaim with pride that love is love!

Whether you stay at home, or go out on the town, you can create a memorable date that highlights all the juicy nuances of your love.

You can plan a picnic in the living room or a candlelight dinner you cook together followed by dancing to your favorite tunes. Or you can opt to make a reservation for tapas at a restaurant you’ve not been to, followed by drinks at a jazz club or lesbian bar.

Whatever you choose, be sure to follow the next 3 suggestions to craft an iconic valentine’s date night.

Start your date night in the morning

If you’re going for epic, you can’t just change out of your exercise clothes at 6:30pm, spiff up your hair, and head to your favorite restaurant for a couple of hours. 

Nope! Get the valentine’s vibe going early. 

Start by bringing coffee, and breakfast nibbles to your beloved before she’s fully awake. Feed her grapes or strawberries with her eyes closed. And after every bite, give her a light kiss and tell her one thing you love about her. Watch her giggle with delight!

If you’re not a breakfast-in-bed kind of gal, then invite your honey to take a shower or bath with you when you roll out of bed. 

Be prepared with a new, delicious-smelling body gel and a back brush. She’ll probably want to suds-up your back (and front) too. Then dry-off one another with a clean, fresh towel that you ran through a hot dryer before meeting in the tub. 

Also, be strategic about letting your partner know she’s your special valentine starting early and throughout the day. You can:

  • Leave a sticky love note in her bento-box, jacket pocket, or her car seat before she takes off for the day
  • Send her cute and funny heart memes several times
  • Call her unexpectedly on the phone and tell her she’s sexy and you can’t wait to hang out with her after work
  • Flirt with her via text during the day
  • Hide her favorite snack in a place she’ll find it
  • Email her a love-poem you wrote just for the occasion (Trust me. It doesn’t even have to be a good poem for her to be amazed and feel totally loved!)
Make a date plan that hits all the senses

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I think the most wonderful, novel date imaginable will ignite all the senses.

You know…sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.

So, whether you’re making a fancy dinner at home or dining out and catching a comedy show, be sure to bring into focus all five senses. And take time to linger in each of the senses. Be sure to amplify the sensory experiences by telling each other details about what you’re noticing and enjoying.

Sight…

Either craft or take note of the things that look beautiful, appealing, and even exotic. 

Make or buy a valentine’s card that’s fun to look at. Wear something that accentuates your best features. Ask your partner to wear jewelry that you love to see her in. Watch the sunset or moonrise together and take an usie (as opposed to selfie). Spend some time looking at photos of your favorite outings or trips together. 

And be sure to gaze into one another’s eyes for 60 seconds or longer.

Hearing…

Weave into your valentine’s date a variety of sounds. 

Listen to your favorite play-list. Sing together. Whisper sweet nothings into her ear. Sit in a moment of silence. Talk to each other and ask interesting date night questions. As a bonus, you can improve your communication instantly.

Go outdoors and listen to the outside sounds— both nature-made sounds and human-created sounds. Can you hear the leaves quaking, the birds chirping, the airplanes flying, the cars honking? 

What about the sound of caressing your love’s hand, or the tiny sound of your lips parting after a kiss? Listen and love.

Smell…

Morning coffee. Lovely bath gel. The aroma of her washed hair. A vase full of roses or wild-flower mix. 

Garlic and spices of a new scrumptious entree (either at home or in a bistro). Fruity red wine or herbal tea. 

The beautiful fragrance of a candle you bought for the evening. Clean sheets on the bed. Her lovely scent as you nuzzle her all over.

Taste…

Start with a kiss (even if you both have dragon breath)! 

Later, feed each other berries dipped in whipped cream or dark chocolate covered almonds. Be sure to taste her finger when she gives you each bite. 

Enjoy a delicious meal that you don’t normally splurge on. With lots of different flavors. Linger on every bite. 

Treat yourself to an exotic cocktail, a different beer, or an unusual beverage that you’ve never had. 

Kiss more than you normally do. And when you land in bed, kiss her all over.

Touch…

Ah! Be sure to amp up on physical touch this valentine’s day. 

Enjoy giving and receiving touch that feels good. It can be non-sexual, sensual touch AND sexual touch. 

Spoon as you’re waking up. 

Hold hands. Kiss. Walk arm-in-arm. Slow dance. Hug at least 5 times. Play footsies under the table. 

Take turns giving a foot rub or shoulder massage. Heck, get some massage oil and exchange full-body massages. 

Follow the pleasure of touch. See where it leads.

Give a gift that says I get you!

What’s the best gift to give your wife?

By no means are fancy gifts a must for a great valentine’s day. In fact, sometimes simple, inexpensive, or cost-free gifts are just right.

The price tag isn’t what’s important. 

What matters most, is that the gift you give your partner let’s her know that you’ve been listening and paying attention to her. 

Your gift can let her know that you truly see her and understand her. That you really get her, and what matters to her. 

Do not make the mistake of giving her what you’d like to receive. 

Think about what she likes, enjoys, stands behind, craves, or highly values. What are her hobbies and interests right now? Look for a gift that would support what she’s currently into.

If receiving gifts is not one of her love languages, then consider giving her the gift of quality time, an act of service, or affirmations. Such as:

  • Have her car detailed
  • Take over a dreaded chore for the next month
  • Give her a jar full of hand-written compliments and affirmations she can pull from when she’s feeling down
  • Gift her a membership to the Botanic Gardens or Art Museum
  • Donate to her favorite charity
  • Hand write her a heart-felt love letter that she can read over and over
  • Schedule a private lesbian couples retreat in Denver

Again, the key is to be tuned into her likes, feelings, and interests. Don’t go for easy and convenient. Unless she’s really into roses, chocolates, and plush bears.

Follow these suggestions, and I can practically guarantee that you’ll create the best lesbian valentine’s date night, ever. 

Have fun!