Even though you’re in a lesbian relationship, do you ever feel stumped about the best gift to give your partner? (People seem to think that women are born knowing how to pick the perfect present.)
Would you believe me if I told you I know the very best gift to give her? All without having to go to a store, shop online, or break the bank.
Want to know what it is?
Well, let me tell you…
The best gift to give your partner is a love letter.
Why a love letter?
As a lesbian couple, a vulnerable, descriptive love letter that you take the time to write from your heart will make you both feel deliciously close. And happy. It will infuse both you and your babe with those warm feelings of love, appreciation, and understanding.
And maybe even a bit of sizzle.
Sounds hot. Right?
Obviously there’s not a right way to write a love letter. But if your creative brain is frozen up with dreaded writer’s block, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.
Let me help you get rolling with a love letter that your honey will want to keep in her underwear drawer. Forever.
She’ll be so glad she’s in a relationship with you!
Here’s an awesome blueprint for writing a love letter that rocks:
1. Start with: “I love you, _____________!”
Fill in the blank with your partner’s first name. (And then erase the line under her name!)
This is the very best way to begin your love letter.
That’s because our natural reaction is to have positive feelings when we hear our name used in a loving way. It’s much more meaningful to hear our name than, say, an endearing term when someone we care about says “I love you.”
2. Tell your partner why you’re so happy that you met her.
Take a verbal (written) stroll down memory lane and share a detailed snap-shot of the moment you first knew that you were falling in love with her.
Get really specific and descriptive:
- Where were you?
- What were you and she doing?
- How were you feeling?
- What exactly was it about your partner that made you fall in love with her?
3. Describe what you love about her today. Focus on the now.
You might tell her what you love about her style, her body, brain, and the particular way she laughs. And about the twinkle in her eye when she talks to you. Or her qualities, habits, and personality traits that you admire.
Don’t forget to mention what you love about her values, dreams, talents, and how she relates to family and friends. Oh, and be sure to let her know how she makes you feel.
4. Take a minute and dream about your future.
How do you see your future unfolding?
Write about what you envision the future of your lesbian relationship to be.
What dreams do you have for the two of you? What are you looking forward to? How do you wish things will be in 5, 10, 50 years?
5. Share something vulnerable.
Yep, take a risk!
Tell her something you’ve never said out loud to her. Open up about a private thought, memory, or experience that you’ve been keeping to yourself.
Keep in mind…vulnerability grows intimacy.
It would be great if you’d tell your partner “From now on I’m going to share my thoughts, feeling, and desires with you.” And start speaking your truth.
6. Stay vulnerable and tell your partner about your fears of losing her.
Finish this sentence (or paragraph)…
“I would be devastated if I lost you because…”
7. Express your gratitude.
Let her know what you’re grateful for.
What are 3 specific things that she’s done for you recently that you’re grateful for?
Tell her in detail about these things you appreciate. And let her know why you’re grateful.
8. Show support.
Let your partner know that you support her dreams. And that you’ll always have her back.
Be really specific about her dreams and passions. Let her know you’ve been listening. That way she’ll feel deeply understood and supported. Then watch her relax.
Feeling deeply understood by one another will help you grow a secure and happy relationship.
9. Commit to doing 3 things on a consistent basis to improve your relationship.
Write down 3 specific things you’re going to do to put your lesbian relationship first.
Will you talk more openly about your feelings? Are you going to plan date night twice a month? Promise to stop bringing up hard topics right before bed?
10. End your love letter with a bold declaration of your love!
Tell your partner that you’ll always protect her and your relationship. Both at home and out in the world.
You can make your love letter even more special by handwriting it on beautiful, high quality paper. Make it unique and beautiful. As this will be a letter that she’ll want to hold onto and treasure.
When you’re ready to give this love letter to your partner, ask her to sit with you because you have a special gift you want to give her. Sit in such a way that you’re facing one another.
Then gaze into your partners eyes for at least 30 seconds. Take out the love letter, and read it out loud to her. Read the letter slowly. And look into her eyes as much as you can.
Soak up the warmth, connection, and love that you’ve created in this moment.
Have fun!
Now you know what’s the best gift to give your partner.
If for some reason you feel too distant from your partner to be able to write a love letter, you may need to seek out some lesbian couples therapy.
I’m a highly qualified lesbian couples counselor in Denver and I can help you fall back in love.
Don’t worry, if you don’t live in Denver but you’re interested in working with me, check out my Lesbian Couples Retreat In Denver. I’m here when you need me and when you are ready.
