How To Manage Fears And Cravings In Your Relationship

Are you stuck in fear?

If you’re like a lot of women in same-sex relationships, your fears are probably keeping you from having the courage to share your cravings with your partner. And maybe even with yourself.

Without knowing and expressing your desires to your partner, you risk ending up with a shallow, listless, stagnant relationship and life. Yuck!

Fears are normal feelings. But left to run amok, they can rob you of joy, creativity, and designing a life that satisfies your cravings.

You can get unstuck from your paralyzing fears and move toward what you crave by having the guts to do a simple exercise with your partner.

I invite you to speak your truth. Give one another a valuable gift, today, by sharing your fears and cravings in a non-threatening way.

Carve out some time to have a real talk about your fears and cravings. Take turns. And practice  both sides of good communication:

  1. Steady vulnerability (when you’re the one opening up)
  2. Radical curiosity (when you’re listening to your partner)

When you’re the one sharing your feelings, do this:

Talk about your fears

Share all of them. Even if they seem contradictory. And don’t just hit the surface. Go deeper into your fears…what they’re attached to, how they feel in your body, what they make you think about yourself.

Talk about your cravings

Yep. Be brave! Share your desires, wants, fantasies, and every craving you can think of. Let your partner know the details of what you crave. Remember you’re not asking her to solve anything. There’s value in discovering what you desire.

Tell your partner one thing you’d like to hear her say

What is something you’d really like to hear your babe tell you? What would make you feel loved, safe, accepted? Let her know what you’d love to hear her say. Then listen to those words and take them in.

After you’ve shared your fears, cravings, and something you want to hear your partner say to you, it’s her turn to do the same.

This exercise is a gift because it will lighten the burden of fear, give you hope and vision for the future, and offer each other soothing reassurance.