Today I got a voicemail that sounded familiar.
She said “My relationship needs help, but my wife doesn’t want to go to couples therapy”.
Why?
So many reasons a lesbian might not want to go to couples therapy.
Here are some I’ve heard…
- My partner has a lot of trauma and she needs to work on herself first.
- I’m overwhelmed with work right now, and I know we need help, but I just can’t do it.
- Most therapists don’t understand lesbians.
- I went to therapy when I was a kid and it didn’t help.
Ok, whatever the reason, I respect that.
But if you are like many of my clients, you may be frustrated because your partner is not willing to come to couples therapy with you.
If they don’t want to come, you’re stuck, right?
Actually no. You are not stuck!
You can do so much to help your relationship by learning good relationship skills yourself.
In fact, I love teaching individuals how to see differently and act differently in their relationships.
And guess what?
It works.
You learn and your relationship begins to grow.
Are you wondering what you’ll learn and how it helps? I’ll tell you.
Since I’ve become a well-trained couple’s therapist, I’ve noticed a shift in how I work with individuals. I still tune in and feel empathy for you. I’m still on your side, you might say.
We won’t blame your partner for everything. You’ll learn to be your own advocate and also begin to understand how your actions are likely affecting your partner.
I’m in favor of strong lesbian and queer relationships.
I live in one, in fact.
If I can help you slow down and understand the dynamics of what’s happening in a tense conversation, when you say this and they say that…
You can see where it’s going.
You will begin to see how to get a different result.
We start with understanding you, where you come from, your feelings, your goals.
Together, we work on helping you regulate your emotions and communicate better than ever.
You can learn to:
- Be brave in speaking up
- Be clear on what you want to say
- Help your partner be able to hang in there and listen to you
- Know when to listen to your partner
- Learn when its time to look for solutions and when its too soon
If you are ready to work on some of this with me, sign up for a free 20 minute video consultation, or give me a call.
I want you to know, I have a plan. And part of the plan is that you get to be happier.
It’s true that a better relationship makes us happier.
If you are ready to make some changes in your life and in your relationship, call now for a free consultation (303) 222-7134.
Lisa Yaeger, LPC
Lesbian Couples Institute
